contrariety
by naggingGargoyle
Summary: Pearl snubs Mayor Dewey, in the rain, on the train, in a house, and with a mouse.


**Note:** The summary might make it sound like this is crackfic. It is not! It is 100% canonical. Every single word of this has canonically taken place, in canon. I promise.

* * *

Pearl is on her way home from a short patrol around the beachside when the rain starts. It's surprisingly loud and heavy for this time of year, and this part of Earth, and Pearl's hair is plastered to her face and all but covering her gem within minutes. She hopes Steven is home, or has an umbrella with them otherwise. Pearl doesn't really get cold and her clothes, being a mere projection of her gem, don't require washing, but her breath still seizes up whenever she thinks about the time Steven got pharyngitis a nd coughed and trembled and refused to eat for two days straight.

She's considering stopping at the donut shop and using their phone to check with Steven if they need an umbrella, in which case she'd need to make a detour on her way to the house, when she notices raindrops have suddenly stopped landing on her. She looks up to see a large black umbrella over her head, held by the pink human mayor, who, in a feat of utter disregard for common courtesy and personal space, has matched her pace and is walking right beside her.

Despite the weather, he appears to be perspiring.

"Ms. Pearl, you're completely drenched!" he says, sounding strangely rehearsed. "Here, allow me." Even though his umbrella is already covering her, he extends his arm, presenting it to Pearl. Easily within nose-bumping distance, too.

"Oh," she says mildly, politely reaching for the proffered umbrella handle. She takes it, and the mayor beams. "Thank you."

"It's my sincere pleasure," he calls earnestly after Pearl's back as she quickens her pace to a humanly inconvenient speed. Pearl considers giving him a brief speech about personal space, for the sake of future behavior, but decides it would be impolite, considering he has just given her a gift. She would have to postpone the scolding to another occasion.

She glances back and slows down again once she's assured there's a sufficient gap between them. The shoulders of the mayor's suit are already soaked through; that might cause some water damage. Rather foolish, Pearl thinks, to give away your only umbrella while wearing a dry-clean-only suit.

Well. At the very least now she doesn't have to stop at the store to get Steven an umbrella.

.

Rather than ask Greg for a ride, which would alert Steven and make both of them uncomfortable, Pearl and Amethyst opt to take the train to town to deal with the rumors about strange colorful people with too many limbs.

"You think Garnet'll be okay?" Amthyst asks Pearl quietly as they look for a place to sit.

Pearl grimaces. "She's with Steven," she says. "And she's… together. She'll probably be fine."

"I actually think they look kinda cool," Amethyst says. "In a messed up shardy way. I like the head arms." She waves an arm behind her head in imitation.

"You would," Pearl mutters disapprovingly. And then she sees the sweaty human waving at her.

"Oh! Here you are!" the mayor chirps happily, jumping to his feet and gesturing graciously at the seat he's just vacated.

"Yes," Pearl says uncertainly, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "I am here. So, Amethyst, I think if we time this right we could get back in time for dinner. Steven is making that meatball lasagna thing again, and," she gives an involuntary shudder, "I know you… _enjoy_ that… horrifying sludge."

"Pearl, you're a fucking pleb with no taste," Amthyst pronounces cheerfully as they take the two conveniently adjacent unoccupied seats in the next passenger car.

.

The _First Beach City Snowfall In Fifty Years_ party is held at the mayor's mansion. Steven and Connie are excited to attend, naturally, and they insist that one of the gems go with them, to act as _'parental'_ _'supervision'_ and appease Ms. and Mr. Maheswaran. As the one voted not-that-busy-with-other-stuff _and_ not-too-likely-to-cause-mass-panic, Pearl is enlisted as chaperone. She's happy to spend time with Steven and Connie, of course, but the location is already giving her an anticipatory headache, and they're not even within sight of the building.

"There's gonna be so much food!" Steven enthuses, and Pearl sighs in defeat.

"Do you think there'll be ancient rusting suits of armor and things?" Connie asks Steven, looking thrilled at the prospect. "I've never been to a mansion before."

"Connie, we'd need to work on your upper body strength a bit more before you can wear heavy armor," Pearl tells her. "We can start you off with studded leather, maybe."

Connie laughs delightedly. "Really? That's so cool! I mean, yes ma'am."

Steven leans close to Connie and cups a palm around her ear. "I think you're already the coolest in the stuff you have now," Steven whispers. Pearl suppresses a smile.

Eventually they reach the mansion, unfortunately, and since Steven and Connie absolutely can't be convinced to leave it at that, they go inside, as well. Pearl does her best to stick close to the kids, but they very quickly drift over to the buffet, and she has to find something else to silently stand next to.

It's at that moment that the mayor slides over to her with a heaping plate of seafood.

"Ms. Pearl! You made it!" he says, sounding giddy, and pushes the smelly plate toward her. "Here, try the shrimp, it's delicious."

" _No_ ," Peal says firmly, and manages, with effort, to remain well mannered enough not to knock the plate right out of his hands. The mayor desperately needs that personal space chat, but possibly not right this moment, when Pearl feels a little bit like she might withdraw back into her gem out of sheer revulsion.

She spends the rest of the party hiding out in the bathroom, annoyingly reminiscent of Peridot, until Connie and Steven are ready to leave, having discovered there are in fact no suits of armor in the mansion.

.

Pearl isn't even sure what Greg and Steven and Onion had been doing that resulted in several hundred mice scampering all over town, but here she is regardless, ankle deep in chirpy rodents, and under strict Steven orders not to hurt any of the cute ones. Which they all, unfortunately, are.

She can't bubble them, and, contrary to what certain children's folklore might lead someone to believe, mice can't be effectively herded using the tune of a flute. She's considering getting Amethyst to shift into a werewolf or something and chase them away, or just giving up and adopting all of them. She picks up a mouse to assess its size and possible feeding needs, and has already started mentally sketching out an amusement room, with lots of tubes and wheels so the mice can get enough exercise, when she hears the headache-inducing sirens announcing the arrival of _Ma-yor Dew-ey_ 's campaign truck.

"Good citizens of Beach City!" the mayor calls into his little megaphone. "Do not panic! I have with me the most highly trained animal control guys in the close vicinity! Your vermin woes are at an end!"

He jumps out of the truck, the highly trained animal control guys following suit. They have big nets and cages, and Pearl spends too long looking at them and trying to decide whether or not to fight them for the mice, giving the mayor the regrettable opportunity to notice her.

"Ms. Pearl!" he says to her, voice still megaphone-amplified, spreading his arms in, possibly, worryingly, anticipation for some kind of physical contact. "I hope you haven't been waiting long!"

So Pearl throws the mouse at him, and walks away.


End file.
